As a newlywed, you are launching out on a journey that will be unparalleled with adventure. Some days will be difficult, others will be exuberant, but together, you and your spouse will face all the many ebbs and flows of life. If you are just starting out as a married couple, now’s the time to invest in your relationship’s longevity. One important resource for you as a newlywed is couples who have been married for decades. They have made it through the trials of life still going strong, together, along with the other advice that will follow.
What Advice do You Give to Newlyweds?
Before looking at marriage advice for newlyweds, it’s helpful to gather as many resources as you can as a mentor to those new to marriage. After all, as a couple who has been married for a while and within the Christian faith, you have the unique opportunity to share with younger couples. You can share advice for newlyweds with them, Biblical marriage advice for newlyweds and other Christian advice for newlyweds. Don’t believe the lie that you have nothing to offer. Even if your marriage has had challenges, or especially if that is the case, your life experience is valuable to those just starting out.
Whether you are a newlywed looking for encouragement or a potential mentor of such a couple, the following is helpful advice to get you started on the right pathway in this exciting venture:
Beyond anything else, a relationship with the Lord is of paramount importance when it comes to the success of any marriage. The Bible speaks on marriage throughout. One example that many feel exemplifies the marriage relationship well is found in the Old Testament book of Ecclesiastes 4:12 “though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves, a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” As you might have guessed in this passage the three strands are representative of the bride, the groom and God. The three strands on their own do not have near the strength they do when the three are joined together. To picture this, think of the difference between a single strand and a braid. There is really no way to even hope for a successful marriage if the marriage isn’t planted on the foundation of faith when both spouses have their own personal relationship with Christ. While it might be possible to have a “good” marriage without faith, it’s much more unlikely.
Learn to Communicate
After having a personal relationship with God, communication is of utmost importance. Not only does communication reduce the risk of fights, but it helps each member of the couple express themselves. Communication is also important not only between the couple themselves but between each spouse and God. Couples can pray together if they desire, which helps them combine the important forms of communication. Of course, it is vital that each spouse has their own individual time with God as well.
Guard Your Marriage and Keep Things Private
In today’s society where “spilling the tea” is all the rage, keeping one’s mouth shut and not sharing every bit of information one might have can seem almost foreign. However, there is great wisdom in holding your tongue, especially when it comes to a marriage relationship. No spouse should ever gossip about their spouse to anyone else. Of course, this doesn’t mean you should allow abuse or neglect counseling with a professional. Use the following verse to evaluate whether you should say something or shouldn’t:
Ephesians 4:29 “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”
An easy way to put this is "if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all". It may be elementary, but this adage holds true, even in the context of a marital relationship.
Honor Your Spouse
Each part of the marriage relationship must honor the other member. This means respecting them, trusting them and more. One way to do this is to brag about your spouse to other people, in their hearing. While it's great to brag about your spouse to others, if you make sure they hear you doing so, it benefits them as well as the hearer. While it’s difficult to honor someone that you don’t respect, if there is a reason like lack of character or lack of a sense of responsibility, it’s important to honor their position as your spouse even if you don’t feel they are worthy of honor as an individual.
Forgive Your Spouse
Everyone has good and bad days, everyone makes mistakes, everyone struggles. Sometimes, these shortcomings can lead to fights and disagreements. The worst thing you can do in this scenario is to hold onto the fight, the hurt feelings, refusing to forgive your spouse when they have messed up. This passage on love explains this: 1 Corinthians 3:15 “It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily garnered, it keeps no record of wrongs.”
Another verse that looks at the benefits of not holding onto wrongs and not dwelling on wrongs is Ephesians 4:26 “In your anger do not sin ‘Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry...” While it might not always be possible to rectify an issue in its entirety in one day, before the sun sets, promising to not going to bed angry at each other is a great relationship goal.
A Happy Marriage is Possible
While reviewing and practicing the advice for Christian newlyweds mentioned above will not ensure that you will not have any problems, they will increase your chances of staying together for the long haul. Perhaps, also consider purchasing from Love in Faith’s collections as the themed products offered will consistently remind you of your faith and your commitment to your marriage as well.